WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
