I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
