You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
