thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
