similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
