I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
