Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
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