We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
