Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
