Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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