He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
