You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
