Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
