"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
