i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Randomize
