so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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