Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Girls should come with a carfax report
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
