hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
