Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
