I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
