Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
