hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
