tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
