Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
But we have bathrooms and they dont
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
