when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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