you guys were way drunker than both of me
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
