Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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