I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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