So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
