I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
