He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Randomize
