I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
you never un-have a 4some
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
