PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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