What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Randomize
