The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Randomize
