What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
