You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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