I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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