that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
