I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
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