I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
