His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
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