I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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