i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I CAN MOONWALK!
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Randomize
