The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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