I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
