I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize