guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
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