Umm I'm too high to move.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
What a dumb baby whore.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
