Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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