He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
