There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
