i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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