i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
